Create in Me: Guest Writer
Since I (Angie) preached the sermon on Psalm 51:10, I invited a friend to do the blog. Sorry I’m a little late posting this:
Hi! My name is Holly Wright. I have three children ages 6, 4, and 2 1/2. Angie and Beth’s blogs are essentials to my morning coffee reading. Topping the list next to my Facebook news feed and people magazine! As I was reading some of the first posts they asked the question, “what would you like to talk about on this blog?” I opened the comment box and wrote a few words. My fingers froze over the keyboard and fell to the ‘delete’ key. Am I ready to admit to a ‘room’ full of strangers that I too often lose my patience with my kids? Do I really want to ask for support and advice on the web? I’m happy to chat about it with my girlfriends or complain to my husband but to authentically own it in front of people who aren’t going to love me anyway was scary. I chickened out. Then I prayed. I told God that I hoped Angie and Beth would discuss how they get through day to day stresses without yelling. At church the very next Sunday Angie taught a beautiful, heartfelt, easy to follow, well put together lesson on Psalm 51:10. I know I am not the only one who felt as if she and God were speaking directly to me. I’m a Leo, it’s always about me! ;-D
“Create in me a pure heart, oh God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”
So I started praying it and praying it and praying it and praying it. Now talking honestly with God is not a place where I struggle. I consider us BF and I am pretty sure every now and then he gets tired of hearing me talk endlessly. He loves me anyway. Always. I do struggle with having a gentle and kind attitude, reading my bible, and being patient with my husband and my kids (and many, many other things!). He loves me anyway. Always.
I went on with the rest of my day business as usual. The next day was Monday. I decided to meet some friends at the playground to ride bikes. We stayed in bed snuggling too long and got a little behind schedule. Anytime it starts to look like we are going to be late I start to feel stressed. These are always the times when I lose my patience. That was true for this particular Monday morning. I had extra things to pack like lunch and bikes and I was not behaving like the kind of parent that I want to be. I stopped and prayed my Psalm 51:10 prayer. We pulled ourselves together and headed out on our adventure. I kept praying ‘my’ prayer.
We were on 288 when the traffic slowed to a crawl and then to a stop. I saw lots of smoke and at least 20 rescue vehicles. We weren’t going anywhere for a loooong time. Parked on 288, we sat for AN HOUR AND FIFTEEN MINUTES. Three small children stuck in a parked vehicle for over an hour when they thought we were going to the playground?? No, it’s not pretty. It’s a fast track ticket to meltdown city! I was amazed at how calm and unrattled I was! There was absolutely nothing I could do. When I almost worked up the nerve to drive through the grassy median and turn around along came two police cars, so I stayed put. We prayed for the people involved in the accident and thanked God we were safe. I was thankful to have plenty of gas in my car and even a cooler full of food! We talked about safe driving, and traffic, and how fire and policemen keep us safe and sang MANY of our favorite songs.
And here is the crazy thing—–IT WAS REAL. I wasn’t putting on a brave/happy/calm/not aggravated face for the kids. I was really ok. Even when they whined and complained and cried, I was cool as a cucumber. The truth is it doesn’t work every time (especially if I forget to pray!) but many, many moments in my life have been changed over the past week due to this verse and Angie’s teaching. When I am aggravated at my husband, when my darling children are acting like animals, when dinner turns out gross, and when company is set to arrive in 30 minutes (at the same time that my sweeties need a bath and to be put to bed) and Lin calls to say he won’t be home for an hour because he is caught in traffic, Psalm 51:10 works. God works. Prayer works. My heart is one step closer to pure and my spirit headed for steadfast…..for now. 😉 Thanks for letting me share my experience.